541. Real Talk: How to Build Authentic Relationships with your Donors and Team + The Story of Thoughtful Human - Maya Enista Smith

Meet Maya. She’s a kindness champion, mental health advocate, and thoughtful human, and she’s obsessed with thank you cards💌She’s the president of Thoughtful Human, an eco-friendly greeting card company. These unique cards, founded by Ali O'Grady in 2017, plant seeds of empathy, offering genuine support during life's toughest moments. Tune in as we discuss the power of small acts of human connection and the ripple effect they create🫶

💡 Learn

• The overwhelm humans are experiencing + what we can do about it
• Thoughtful Human’s story 
• Building Authentic Relationships

Today’s Guest
 Maya Smith, President, Thoughtful Human

Episode Highlights

• Maya’s story and journey to where she is today (4:55)
• The overwhelm humans are experiencing and the role of hope as an antidote (8:30)
• Thoughtful Human’s origin story (14:50) 
• The impact and ripple of Thoughtful Human cards (19:15)
• Becky’s story of the impact of sending handwritten cards to donors year after year (23:15)
• Maya’s experience creating cards (28:00)
• Authentic relationships, empathy and stewardship in nonprofit work (32:45)
• The duality of human emotions and experiences (37:00)
• A powerful moment of philanthropy in Maya’s life (41:30)
• Maya’s One Good Thing: If you're thinking of someone, tell them immediately. + Take more naps. (51:20)
• How to connect with Thoughtful Human and Maya (55:37)

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Chapters

• 0:53 Building Authentic Relationships Through Thoughtful Connections
• 15:06 The Power of Thoughtful Human Cards
• 22:29 Power of Kindness and Connection
• 28:29 Building Authentic Relationships Through Connection
• 39:28 Kindness and Generosity in Action
• 52:18 Speak Kindness & Rest

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:53

Hey, I'm John.

Speaker 2: 0:54

And I'm Becky.

Speaker 1: 0:55

And this is the we Are For Good podcast.

Speaker 2: 0:58

Nonprofits are faced with more challenges to accomplish their missions and the growing pressure to do more, raise more and be more for the causes that improve our world.

Speaker 1: 1:07

We're here to learn with you from some of the best in the industry, bringing the most innovative ideas, inspirational stories, all to create an impact uprising.

Speaker 2: 1:16

So welcome to the good community. We're nonprofit professionals, philanthropists, world changers and rabid fans who are striving to bring a little more goodness into the world.

Speaker 1: 1:26

So let's get started. What's happening, becky?

Speaker 2: 1:30

It's here, it is here and I want to say I have had fangirl crush on our guest for several years now and then we met her and I feel like what's about to go down in the next 30 to 40 minutes is a gift to you all who are listening right now, because Maya Smith is in the house and you may not know her name, but you will know her work in your heart by the end of this conversation, because the amazing, thoughtful, empathetic, justice-driven human that she is is going to give you an exhale today. I promise you this, and so it is our incredible great joy to introduce Maya Smith. She is the president of Thoughtful Human. John, can we emote about Thoughtful Human for like a hot minute here? Because-.

Speaker 1: 2:19

There'll be lots of emoting.

Speaker 2: 2:20

We're so excited oh my gosh, you all these cards. We're talking about cards. We are in a industry of stewardship, of how do we connect with people, how do we get the words to say thank you, how to make thoughtful connections, and someone literally made the cards that say the words that sometimes we find hard to say. And so we're going to be talking about the things we don't talk about. We're going to be talking about building authentic relationships with your donors, your volunteers, your partners, your team, and we are doing it with someone who is so human, so kind and is going to bring that empathy and joy at the center.

Speaker 2: 2:54

So a little bit of background Amaya Anista-Smith. She is the president of Thoughtful Human. She is bringing so many years of experience into the nonprofit sector and you may know her from a little known organization called Born this Way Foundation. That's right, she was the founding executive director of Lady Gaga's Foundation. We absolutely love this foundation. I want to give a shout out to Alex and Shadeel over there because they are such equally amazing humans, and at Born this Way, she was really working to empower young people to create this kinder, braver world and also to just be a source for mental health support. And if you hang out with her for 30 seconds. You understand how that support shows up in so many different ways, and prior to this role at the foundation, she was a CEO for mobilizeorg, where she worked with millennials to identify challenges, propose solutions and fund their solutions through grants. And so, john, that was targeted to you, but I'm sure I can like drift off of what you learned there.

Speaker 1: 3:54

My avocado toast loving heart appreci.

Speaker 2: 3:56

Absolutely, totally so. I, before we get into this conversation that I just think is going to center us, it's going to again give us that exhale, that ease that we're looking for. I want to give you this quote that we heard from Maya that just really turned us on our heads, and she said today cards go from being my passion to becoming my platform. I believe in the power of cards to build community and I've seen it firsthand. Cards is hope, cards that bear witness to unspeakable pain, cards that celebrate unexpected joy, cards that honor the brave truth spoken and cards that make me laugh uncontrollably. I believe that taking the time to write words to yourself and to the people around you is a life-saving measure. How could we start any better than that? Maya Smith, welcome to the we Are For Good podcast. We're kind of excited. You're in our house. What?

Speaker 3: 4:48

a way to start my morning. Y'all are better than coffee. I mean wow. And also, like my daughter got her hair in class yesterday, right, so that's my journey, got it got it so real so great job, and so to have all these nice things said about me in a moment that I'm feeling so spectacularly at parenting is just really really wonderful. So thank you so much for having me. I'm honored and excited and equally fangirling.

Speaker 2: 5:22

Well, we just adore the way you move through this world and the way that you make others feel so seen and such a sense of belonging. And that is just needed, maybe now more than ever before. And before we dive into just feeling this hope again, feeling this renewal, feeling the centering, we want to get to know you, we want to know about little Maya. Where'd she grow up? How'd she get into this work?

Speaker 3: 5:48

That's such a great question. So I am thoroughly a New Yorker, john, and I switched roles. Today in the like all black outfit, I just put a jean jacket over my pajamas because it's 730 in California. I grew up on the East Coast, in New York City and New Jersey. I grew up the daughter of Romanian immigrants, so I had, from this really early age, this deep appreciation for what my parents had endured to give my brother and I the opportunities that we had growing up.

Speaker 3: 6:25

I think there's a lot of narratives around immigrant parents giving up a lot for their children, sacrificing, and I absolutely saw that with my parents and I just remember feeling so grateful and they weren't. You know, it wasn't this like. My mom never felt upset. She felt like every choice she'd made, every action she'd taken, was worth it because of me and because of my brother, and that some might call it a pressure, but that love that I felt from her sort of instilled in me this gratitude and this hope and this optimism and this endless possibility that really I feel like I still have today. So I grew up on the East coast and married a boy in California, which is why it's 730 for me and so I've been out here for the past handful of years.

Speaker 1: 7:23

I mean, how beautiful. And can we celebrate your mom for a hot second? Will you share her name with us?

Speaker 3: 7:28

I would love to. Her name was Alina Anista and she passed away this year. Oh, I'm sorry. Thank, you.

Speaker 2: 7:34

Yeah, she passed away this year and sorry.

Speaker 3: 7:35

Thank you. Yeah, so that's one of the um you know you talked about. You read the quote about the duality of emotions and how we all simultaneously feel so much, and this year has been that for me. Um, but my mom was this bad-ass um psychoanalyst. We love a mental health professional and more of them, and she's my hero and my example every day. And yes, you know, with the haircutting example, I was like man, I wish I could call my mom, because all I want to do is like cut the rest of this hair and teach a real lesson. I know that's not the right answer, so there are many times where I wish I could could talk to her, and the cards for me are one way to talk to her.

Speaker 1: 8:23

Thank you for sharing that, and we just, I think we're all feeling kind of what you're talking about. I mean, my kids didn't cut their hair, but they probably did similar things yesterday.

Speaker 2: 8:33

Both my kids have cut their hair, so I'm totally relating.

Speaker 1: 8:37

But you know, I think, one you conversation. We wanted to kind of go in a different way because you're so just attuned to people and you see people, you know people and you have poured into serving this wraparound of people through mental health services and the channel kindness initiative. I just think of all the ways that y'all support and love people so well, and now this new chapter is all about that. So, as we tone set, can we talk about just this overwhelm, this collective? You know, like sigh, that we are feeling as a country, but also, as you know, our neighbors around the world too. There's so much pain happening, there's so much confusion and stress. Let us set some tone, Like I don't want to go so negative, but it's like we have to just name it and call it out, Like what are you seeing on the front lines and how can we kind of use that as context for where we go next?

Speaker 3: 9:21

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I feel it personally, I see it professionally, like anecdotally and every possible way this feeling of overwhelm, and not just overwhelm. I think there's times when overwhelm is okay, when you feel like you are able to access the tools you need to address it. But sort of this overwhelm without action, without like, what can I do to allay suffering? What can I do to help in, you know, combat climate change? There's sort of this overwhelm paired with this lack of clarity around actions that I think is really paralyzing often for me and for a lot of other people. And when I feel myself getting there, I think about the difference between hope and optimism. I'm sure y'all have heard this, right, but optimism is just this belief that the future can be better, right. And then hope is this like actionable muscle and habit of actions that we can individually take to make the future better and to make our current overwhelm subside. I know initially y'all were going to ask me for some data and I'm happy to share data.

Speaker 3: 10:37

We love data. We love data, as you said, though, john, like my data is people. Like people are my proof points every day, and I believe that people are good and more people together are better. So I just go out in the world and tell me like, and ask them to tell me, like, what's bringing you hope and what solutions are you creating, so I'll give you, like, a little bit of data, but then, for me, it's the people, and I hope that the not everybody can access the data, but everyone can access people, right, everybody can access the hope that is innate in the people, in our communities, in our neighbors, in our kids, in the teachers, right, and so there's sort of the need for the mix of both. Right, and I think we're also starting. You know these first two statistics that I wanted to share. I want to, of course, note where we started from right. So, like in 2024, 70% of people are expecting a better year than 2023. Um, according to a recent survey, that's good.

Speaker 3: 11:40

Right, also, though, last year and the year before were all-time lows right so each of these data points are like how do you look at the numbers where I find a lot of hope and what inspires me is that young people are finding a lot of hope in themselves.

Speaker 3: 11:58

So American University put a poll that really studied this like uniquely millennial optimism. Oftentimes you hear about all the crises that young people are undergoing and yet, in the face of seemingly insurmountable obstacles, millennials are so hopeful. They're collaborative, they're entrepreneurial, they're diverse, they're action-oriented, they're working on solutions and leveraging platforms and actually, on this, they had 12 specific or 13 specific measures, including the opportunity to get a great education, healthy, loving relationships. All of these points under the bucket of having a good future. And out of the 12 of the 13 specific measures, young Americans expected to have a better experience than their parents. I think it's important to note, especially with voter registration deadlines coming up, the only place that they didn't believe that was to be having a functional government that represents us all. So, just like a little shout out about registered.

Speaker 3: 13:04

So those are a couple of the data points that, across the spectrum, although we are living in really, really difficult times, the human muscle of hope is continuing to carry us through. When I think about the people, I think about folks like Allie Borowski, who's a four-time suicide attestant. Hi, allie, we love her. She was at my house last week and she created this tangible resource for mental health, including decks of cards with 52 reasons to live and reminders about how much people are cared for. I think about Jacob Cranmer, who created a better writing campaign called Love for Our Elders. He, you know, was really struggling with the loss of his grandpa and the social isolation that he felt in those last couple of years, and so he sent more than half a million letters to socially isolated seniors. Right, and so that's one. Those are two people who, from their own experience, created movements that invited us all into being part of the solution, and that, for me, is the anecdote to the overwhelm.

Speaker 2: 14:14

I mean, this is what we're talking about and I'm sitting in the processing of that space between optimism and hope and we are such an activating community. Yes, we want the conversation to start here, but what starts here? We want to ripple, we want to bring more people in, and I do think that if you are like John and I we call each other ridiculous optimists and ridiculous idealists that we believe that there is always enough for us if we can come together, if we can lean in to that optimism. But it's not enough to just lean into optimism. We got to activate into the hope.

Speaker 2: 14:55

I love that you brought up Allie, I love that you brought up Jacob, and it is also a testament to how these tiny acts of random kindness literally can change the world. I am not trying to be a toxic optimist here, but I think we can all remember when we have gotten a card, a handwritten card or something like that in the mail a card, a handwritten card or something like that in the mail and it just spoke to us. You can have that impact on someone and it's a gift to yourself as much as it is to someone else. So I want to transition into these incredible cards we got to talk about thoughtful human start at the beginning. Talk to us about Thoughtful, human and the power of these cards to actually build community.

Speaker 3: 15:41

Absolutely. I would love to, and I'm obsessed with them too, so thank you for saying that. I actually have the only residential spinner. I have like a 48 pocket and I'm really bad at selling cards. I'm like come over, grab some cards. So Thoughtful Human was founded in 2017.

Speaker 3: 16:00

There's so many things about this company that are unique, but I think one of the coolest pieces, beyond the emotionally resonant topics, are that they're created on plantable seed paper really profound for the year that I've gone through, in that something beautiful can grow from grief, right. So you literally rip up the cards, plant them and wildflowers grow, and it does. I have a garden in my backyard. My husband jokes that it's like a good sales tactic because I would never rip up a card that someone sent me. So my husband, like, writes me an anniversary card and then buys me a planting card, right, and so it's really beautiful both the intent and the result of the cards we're distributed in more than 1100 retailers around the country and the premise of the cards created by Allie O'Grady another incredible Allie. She created the company after her father died from a long battle with cancer and, as I'm sure all of us have experienced in some of the most difficult moments in life.

Speaker 3: 17:13

You don't know how to show up. You know that you want to show up, and the current narrative around showing up is telling people that they should make lemonade out of their lemons right, or that this, too, shall pass, or that you know things will get better. And sometimes you meet a crossroads in your life where you're like this won't, this actually will not get better and my mom will always be dead. This is just not something that we can. We can make better, and so the ability to show up time and time again for people with real emotions and help, um, help them feel less alone, is the goal of the company, and cards have always been really important to me.

Speaker 3: 18:05

Most recently, on Mother's Day, I sent like 30 plus cards to moms that inspire me, as a way to sort of fill the void of having this be my first Mother's Day without a mom, and I feel like it's an example of the moments in which we're both like heartbroken and grateful, you know, elated and worried, celebratory and angry. Right, we're all like there should be cards, there should be words, there should be invitations for all of those moments, and that's what Thoughtful Human is. So I'm really excited about the company, I'm excited about the platform and, more than anything, I'm excited about the community that is created when people reach out, when people receive this kindness, when people know they're being thought about and when people are practicing showing up for each other time and time again.

Speaker 1: 18:47

Oh my gosh, I mean you designed this for somebody like me that feels like I'm the most awkward person in these moments, that you want to show love, you want to show care, but you have no idea the right thing to say. And I think the reason I think we really wanted to bring this conversation to this community is when I first kind of we fell down the rabbit hole of everything thoughtful human that you just described. I'm like. Not only is steward relentlessly one of our values and like we talk about it, the importance of cultivating the donors and the people in our organizations that are helping power it through lots of different ways, but I just thought, if I think about the, we are for good community.

Speaker 1: 19:23

This is the type of humans that are gathered here that are thoughtful, that want to fill space and hold space for each other, and so I just love that this could ignite a movement even within our community here. And I want to give you a platform to talk about. What ripple have you seen? You know like what? What does it look like? I know you're new into the company, but you've been a longtime fan, but what is the ripple that Allie has seen as this company's kind of taken off and gotten to 1100 retailers. I'm freaking out about how much paper like that has to be to figure out where to go.

Speaker 2: 19:52

And also, if you're a retailer, please come in. We want these cards. Sign up. We'll give you details later.

Speaker 3: 19:57

Absolutely, and we made a code for the. We Are For Good community.

Speaker 2: 20:02

Of course you did.

Speaker 3: 20:05

So I it's overwhelming in my inbox and it's probably, I would argue it's the highest and best use of my time when people who have written our cards or who've received cards write notes about the reasons they've given them right the loss of a child, the death of a spouse, the like retirement of a teacher, right, and the cards are there to meet them at these catalytic, catastrophic, hopeful moments in their lives and they feel, you know, we can't stop life from dealing us the inevitable blows that it's going to deal us. But if we can soften those blows, even in the slightest, even just a little bit, then my life will have been worth it. Right, like my whole life, personally and professionally, is like can we make it a little softer of a landing? Can we make people padded a little bit more with people, with love, with connection with community, with acknowledgement, right, and so to me, the cards are this quantifiable force to do that. I mean, we hear inspiring stories and you can read the testimonials on thoughtfulhumanco.

Speaker 3: 21:18

But for me, the way that I first came to these cards was when I was experiencing postpartum depression. And I you know, and that's something so many new moms deal with, but I was never told about postpartum depression, right In my baby classes. It was like baby blues, right, like you might have this feeling of baby blues. And then I got hit by a Mack truck, right, I was very sick and I kept a stack of cards in my purse and I started to try and pay attention, in the darkness, to the moments of joy that I felt, and then I would write a card like mentioning or just sort of calling out that moment of joy. It started, obviously, as everything else does, with coffee, and I'd be at Starbucks and my barista would like make me a really banging cappuccino and I'd write on the card like, thank you so much for this cappuccino. It was delicious. And I would hand them the card and the barista would be like, what are you doing? And my husband would be behind me, just like it's our process, like, take the fucking card. Right, he's not. Well, take the card, we can move on.

Speaker 3: 22:30

And I started to use writing cards as this way to acknowledge and spark joy and I, because I needed something to count in this like chaotic, unquantifiable period of my life, I kept a database of the cards. In the first year of Hunter's life, I wrote 564 cards, and what the cards represented for me was like, like coming back to myself, right, coming alive again and, in aggregate, seeing the power of community, the power of joy, the power of kindness, the power like nobody. Very few of the people who received those cards woke up in that morning and thought, like I'm going to do something for Maya Smith today, right, but just by existing, just by showing up, just by bringing themselves into their spaces, they brought joy. And that, for me, is such a powerful example to have experienced, because I don't know where, I don't know if I would have been here without that practice and, as a professional in the mental health and feeling space, it's such an interesting example to study, right, because I, like, created my own.

Speaker 3: 23:40

Yes, your survey sample is larger than many researchers, yeah, so I mean, I think that that's like a long answer to the impact that we're seeing, but there's lots of me's, there's lots of you's right, and there's lots of people who need the kindness, who have shared the kindness, who have been buoyed by the ability for folks to show up for them, and it's so hopeful.

Speaker 2: 24:08

It is so hopeful and I am in awe of how you took your process of healing and connected it to the people whom you love and that is the community that we're talking about and if you feel this immense isolation that each of us are feeling right now in the world and I think you just gave this beautiful example of how you created this connectedness and it served you and it served someone else, and I think that there's something to that connection. And I want to ask you a question about your writing. But I think I want to tell a story employee campaign that John and I put together at our former health care organization and it was totally like un-campaign the campaign. We did everything backwards from what everybody told us to do and it was all about humans and it was all about stories felt really passionate that every person who made a gift to this campaign, regardless of the amount, needed to get a handwritten card from everyone in our office, and so, if you can imagine, we had a healthcare organization of 10,000 people. I think we had 300 people giving to us before we had this campaign and we set this audacious goal we want to get a thousand people giving to this, and so we, as 10 people kind of said, can we commit to writing 10,000 cards where we all put something on this in some way? So this campaign ran for like four weeks. We would walk into the office and our conference room table, which was really long, would be filled with the day's cards and there's the sense of oh crap, now I got to sit down and sign, like you know, 120 cards today and we would, as a practice, as a team, sit in there for almost two hours a morning and just write cards and I can tell you, by year three or four, everybody was like Becky, you're drunk, you need to go home. We're not doing any more of these. We have 2000 donors. We can't handle it.

Speaker 2: 26:18

However, something happened in that first year because many people didn't even know there was a foundation at our healthcare organization. They had never considered giving to us, but we never wrote about their gift. We wrote about the passion that they gave to thank you for giving to hospice. You know, I want you to know that my grandmother was in hospice this is, by the way, me when I'm writing and that changed our family and it lifted us up, and I honor whoever is in your family that you felt so moved to make this gift and so I process through writing clearly, but it was such a cool exercise for our team and then we decided we're going to hand deliver these cards. We're going to walk in as best we can I know we're insane and we're going to look someone in the eye and hand them a card because most of them are strangers and we're going to shake their hand and say thank you.

Speaker 2: 27:13

And so we started doing this practice and then all of a sudden, like a week later, we'd be in the same office, over in IT or down in the cafeteria or something, and we would start seeing these cards pinned up in cubicles.

Speaker 2: 27:27

We would see them everywhere and then, as the years went on, they started gathering their cards and pinning them up in the cubicle and you would start to see years worth of loyalty and giving and the card created such a connection between humans and I honestly think that someone could think this is a small thing, but I think it could be everything that you need to form that basis of that connection. And I want to give like one example of one of my favorite thoughtful human cards that I'm looking at and it says can you believe that once upon a time, I didn't even know you existed, and now I literally love you more than anyone on this entire planet, and it's so beautiful and it's so human. And so I just want to ask you, after I tell that extremely long-winded story, what has been your experience with writing them, with receiving them and with the stories that you've seen, and what has it awakened within you so?

Speaker 3: 28:28

there's. First of all, I wish that I worked for that healthcare company. There would be no higher, better use of my time than sending that many cards, and I can feel the excitement that you two must have felt walking into those offices and seeing your cards.

Speaker 2: 28:49

Fuel, baby Fuel, to do more every time.

Speaker 3: 28:52

Do more every time Slightly less appropriately as I am. I went to my annual exam, mi OB, and I was like every time I have this argument they're like, can we weigh you? I'm like what's the point? Like, do we have to? And so I'm like arguing with the nurse about the importance of weight during annual exams and there's a thoughtful human like the anatomy of a woman card, like under her stethoscope, on the chalk, the like um the board in her office, and so that was my first time seeing one of the cards out in the wild, um, and it was the coolest feeling. So I I echo that.

Speaker 3: 29:28

So there's two cards coming out that are for my kids, um, and that was, that was like a very emotional process, I thought, because, especially with navigating my mom's death, like there's this understanding, this deep understanding of like my words are going to be like what's left of me, right, that one day it's just going to be like the things that Maya said to people and the actions that she took Right. And so the people that I care most about and this is like kind of funny I guess are Hunter, logan and Dave, and so for Hunter, I call him Peach and there's going to be this like super sweet card and it just says thinking of you, peach, with like a little peach Right, and, like you know, I feel like and he knows it's for him, right, and nobody else will know it's for him, because, unless you've, like, heard me yell peach at the soccer sidelines, but it's this warm, thoughtful card that you can just put out in the world because you know, know, everybody's a peach.

Speaker 3: 30:37

And then for Logan, which I'm like, definitely going to check out your animal recommendation, jonathan. It's just a picture of dogs that she likes and that she's owned and that she's drawn. So it's just a big pic, like lots of cards, a card covered with dogs and our dog, kai, is there in caricature, and our dogs Hudson and Zinni, who passed Kai, is there in caricature, and our dogs Hudson and Zinni, who passed away, are there in caricature, and that's just like that's Logan's card. And then cause, marriage is real. And yesterday I celebrated my 217 month anniversary 18 years and one month.

Speaker 2: 31:10

Congratulations yeah.

Speaker 1: 31:12

A lot of milestones this week, my goodness.

Speaker 3: 31:14

Milestones. And for Dave I said I'm going to make a card for you and it's just simply. I talked about you in therapy today and he was like thanks I love that there's like these super emotional memories of our kids.

Speaker 3: 31:32

And then there's Dave of our kids, and then there's Dave. It's been so cool and like I would love. I would love the we are for good community to tell me what they want on a card right. Like what have people said to you that has made a difference? Right, like what? Like the thing that I I have a dear friend going through a divorce and the thing that I text her almost every day is like I hope that you see yourself the way that I see you right Amidst everything else. Like I hope you can hang on to how I see you right and get closer to that again and so we could make that a card right. Like Becky, what, what amazing tidbits to your kids share with you that you want to make into a card. Thoughtful human is a community of thoughtful humans. Allie and I do not have a market on the creative and um and meaningful things to say, so I would love some. We are for good cards.

Speaker 1: 32:32

I love it so much and using community to power your mission. I mean just connecting this to like the conversations that so much matter in this community is like that's what this looks like. You know you're not saying that this is the way you're saying the community has the answers like build this together so much more beautiful. So okay, we have a lot of fundraisers listening to this podcast. You know we have a lot of nonprofit people listening, and so we love bringing this idea and this belief of genuine community belonging, authentic relationships, into our spaces. It shouldn't feel so separate. That's how we show up for people in our life, but it's not how we show up for our closest donors and partners in this work.

Speaker 1: 33:09

We've struggled with that disconnect, right. So what have you learned? How would you encourage fundraisers that are listening to this and realizing? How do I navigate through harder conversations with building authentic relationships with people that we're maybe stewarding for a big gift or we're working with them on the upcoming gala or whatever it would be? How do we kind of marry those two together? Maybe I'm looking for the permission I don't need, but I need to hear it to say it's okay to show up and wrap around the people in our missions in that way.

Speaker 3: 33:36

Oh yeah, and I think I mean Becky's example of the cards about a connection, right, you weren't like thank you for your $500 gift too, right, it was like you gave to hospice, and this is my experience in hospice, right, like I feel like I'm, at my core, a fundraiser and a storyteller and truly, actually, those are interchangeable and they're the same thing, right?

Speaker 2: 34:01

Totally.

Speaker 3: 34:03

I feel like my work has always been, and your work has always been, around helping people envision a world that's not yet possible right, and promising them that they have an urgent role to play in it. Right, and that it won't be built without them. I'm sure like even just from the number of conversations we've had, like I already know that you both deeply believe that right and that each time you say it, each time you write a note, each time you create an invitation right, like you understand the impact that it has both for the community you're building, but even more so for the person who's receiving that invitation. And the ability to issue an invitation bigger than ourselves is inspiring, it's life-saving, it's validating right. We need to like, we have to need people before we need their money, their introductions, their connections right, and I feel like we don't talk about that enough that, like, at the basis of leading organizations, of stewarding resources, of managing teams, it's about meeting the people and it's about studying the people, and it's about studying the people and it's about getting curious about the people, and so oftentimes stewardship, or like management, or all of these things that we do every day, are viewed as transactions right, and so I would encourage people to get out of the transaction space and really like get curious about people. And I think about these past six months for me, right, like I go to work, I have meetings, I laugh with my kids, like I have happy hour with my friends and I'm like profoundly sad, right, and we don't live in a world where it's always safe to show up as expansively and authentically as we would need to or would hope to and authentically as we would need to or would hope to.

Speaker 3: 35:58

And I feel like, especially now with everything that's happening in the world, like everybody who's asking for money, who's leading a team, who's investing in leadership, like we have to understand what the people are enduring and get to know the people and need the people right, and so could be sending cards, could be taking five minutes before your weekly staff meetings to do like some breathing. It could be closing the office early on Fridays during the summer because camp pickups for kids are wild and a lot of parents work in your office, right. Like we have to get back to recognizing and appreciating the humanity in each other and that's the basis. And like just real talk. People will give more, people will stay longer. People will, you know, will have higher loyalty rates, right Like the impacts that you want to see as like the triple bottom line of your business. That will happen if you take the time to be curious and care and invest in the people who are doing the work.

Speaker 2: 37:03

Thank you for joining. We are for good podcast Like that's the hard stop.

Speaker 1: 37:08

I mean that's so good. And I'm sorry I have to jump in and emote to just say like we, since launching, we are for good. Jump in and emote to just say, since launching, we Are For Good. We've met so many people that I would truly call our closest friends, yourself included of. There's such a kinship Because when you go to that level with people and you don't just keep it up here but you actually talk about the messy underneath piece and you see each other and you celebrate and you talk about the hard things, that connection is so much stronger as a result and you really can build a network and people around you. In the power of technology today we have these opportunities. I think most nonprofits, most organizations are just so transactional. You called it out, I hear it and I'm here for it. So thank you for that Goodness.

Speaker 2: 37:53

I think I also want to share something really personal At least I'm feeling pulled to do it, because I think what you said, that two things can be accurate at the same time. I can feel immense joy with my friends at happy hour, but I can also be incredibly sad, and I will tell you John and Julie know this but I had been in a three-year depression, and I think that would surprise a lot of people because they think that I am always so upbeat, so positive, and I mean that's my Enneagram too and that's my empath coming out. But I have struggled with depression for three years and I am four weeks out of the fog and I want to celebrate that and I want to normalize the fact that it is hard out there. And even those of us who are ridiculous idealists, we are walking through the fog as well. And I just think I'm feeling this invitation from you that while you're walking through the fog, put your hand out, grab somebody else's, like that's when we're not wandering in the wilderness together, that's when we can get together in this.

Speaker 2: 39:00

And, honestly, this community has been such a driver of me getting pulled out of that fog and now I'm out of that season and who knows, you know. So I'm embracing this joy, embracing this conversation you mentioned you think you're a storyteller and I just want to pass you the mic and ask you about a moment of philanthropy, a moment of kindness, a moment of generosity that you feel changed by. And I think a lot of people probably see or read the name Maya Smith and think, oh my gosh, like she hangs with Lady Gaga all the time. You call her LG, Like when you hang out. I mean, you guys are buddies, but I would wager that probably the most impactful moment in your life is not in those celebrity starstruck moments, that it's probably a little one. So pass you the mic and let's see what you think.

Speaker 3: 39:54

Well, first, becky, thank you for sharing that, and we celebrate you in the fog and out of the fog, and I think that being honest about your experience and what it takes to get through every day is one of the most important things, as both parents and humans, that we can do right. One of the findings that stays with me from the research we did at the foundation we did this journal study measuring the mental health attitudes of parents and children in the same home and we asked parents to rate how they felt they were doing when talking to their kids about mental health, and all of the parents no surprise to the three of us gave themselves A's. They were like we are nailing it. Then we asked their kids and their kids were like nope, they are not nailing it, and the reason they are not nailing it is because they're asking for this honesty and vulnerability from us that they are themselves are not showing right. They're saying it's okay to fail and we all make mistakes, but here we are spending so much time and energy being like I got this, I have this hugely successful podcast and it's the last day of school and I baked brownies and I'm traveling and I'm nailing it right, instead of us being honest with what it takes for us to get through, so that our kids can understand that there are many different ways to survive and thrive and that there are many people who help steady us, just like we'll help steady them. And so we're doing a big dissatisfaction to ourselves and to the people that are watching us when we aren't honest about the challenges that we face.

Speaker 3: 41:30

And my husband's always like why do you like? I did this podcast a couple of months ago where I talked about my tattoos and one of them is like for my husband's always like why do you like? I did this podcast a couple months ago where I talked about my tattoos and one of them is like for my husband and it's a little private, and he's like why are you telling people this stuff? I'm like because if, if you don't say the things, if you don't like in bed and like, embrace the awkward and share more and tell people like you know I, I'm in therapy, I had therapy yesterday and sometimes medication helps me and you know all of these different things. Anyway, this is like fully my soapbox. So I celebrate and honor your, your entire journey, and thank you for sharing it. And can I actually can I tell an LG story, is that okay?

Speaker 2: 42:16

Heck to the yes, do it. I like literally set it up, so you couldn't Like that was so restricting and scarce. Go for it.

Speaker 3: 42:23

What if she's actually a really incredible person and I want to talk about her. So it's actually interesting that you set it up that way, because I think oftentimes the people that you know, the people who have the most or who get the biggest megaphone in the world the way that they show up in the small ways is overlooked, right. It's like why didn't they give a hundred million dollars? Because they could have right.

Speaker 3: 42:54

What I've been struck by with her and with so many people is how you act in the quiet moments and with so many people is how you act in the quiet moments right, when nobody's looking, and I think about and I've seen that. I had the joy and honor of a front row seat to the quiet moments for 11 years and now as a friend for hopefully the rest of my life. But I remember going to Texas with LG for the Joanne tour and in each of the communities where she toured she often asked to serve alongside nonprofits or to see where she could make a donation, and sometimes we talked about it publicly. Sometimes we didn't. And in Texas, hurricane Harvey had just hit and an organization that's been near and dear to my heart for 15 plus years Team Rubicon. They were serving boots on the ground.

Speaker 2: 43:54

We love Team Rubicon.

Speaker 3: 43:56

Love Team Rubicon and their founders, jake and Will and Clay. Clay unfortunately is no longer with us, but are three of my favorite humans and grateful to call them all friends. So definitely check out Team Rubicon if you don't know. It's an incredible veteran deployment organization that reacts to national and international disasters and uses this incredible talent that has been invested in these heroes to serve here in communities.

Speaker 3: 44:29

And so I called Jake and I said Jake, are you like, where are you today in Houston? Lg wants to come by and serve. And he was like okay, well, like we could set up a press conference or something. I'm like no, no, like I'm not telling anyone, I'm just calling you and asking you where Give her a bucket dude and a mop. So he was like for real.

Speaker 3: 44:51

I was like yeah, for real. And so we go to this house and this house had the ceiling was falling in, there was mold, it was just, it was in really rough shape. And it was the house of this elderly woman who, instead of worrying about her own house, she'd become a volunteer captain for her community. So she was busy helping all of her neighbors get their houses in order and had not thought about hers. And so we went in these like hazmat suits because there's chemicals, and so we took sledgehammers and took ceilings down, and then these two tour buses rolled up right and LG came out. Of course she bedazzled her suit a little bit and she looked fierce. And she came in and she took a ceiling down in one of the rooms and she was just pleased as punch, to be of service to this incredible woman.

Speaker 3: 45:46

And as she was walking out to get something, she, the owner of the house, was sitting in a rocking chair on the porch and LG knelt down. And the owner didn't know at that moment who she was and she asked you know, ma'am, is there anything that I can do for you? Is there anything that you need? And she says you know, I'm not sure if I've eaten today. And then she thinks about it for a second and the elderly woman is like I'm not sure about yesterday either and she said, okay, just like kindly you know, didn't, didn't react. And then we went to the local Whataburger right and bought I don't know how much food a Whataburger. I think I'm pronouncing it wrong. The Texas folks will say like I don't know, it's totally Whataburger.

Speaker 2: 46:35

Welcome to the Midwest, yes.

Speaker 3: 46:37

And we bought everything that store had to offer and came back and set it out on this porch and folks from all over the community came and they had lunch and LG went back to work and then at the end of the day LG got back in the tour bus and had to go perform. She ended up inviting the entire community to the concert. But I remember the elderly lady. She pulled on my jacket and said is Lady Gaga in my house? And I said, yes, ma'am, she's been here all day. You know the ceiling in your bedroom. She's the one who took it down and she just like sat back in the chair and she was just like wow, just like sat back in the chair and she was just like wow.

Speaker 3: 47:26

And then we had this like little, this like really incredible conversation about how LG's kindness and the words that she spoke to her, like how that was one in this dark moment in both the community and in this, this elderly woman's life had been such a bright light and and I remember, like the saying of like, when someone shows you who they are like believe them right, in the way that LG spoke to that woman, in the way that I've seen LG speak to every person for 12 years.

Speaker 3: 47:56

It just the kindness and the meaningful connection that was created in the validation and the acknowledgement of pain, the immediate ability to meet an unmet need and in the like gathering of a community.

Speaker 3: 48:12

And so then this lady and her family came to the show and there's this like right under the stage it's the mix and she sat in her wheelchair right literally under LG and I'm sure everyone in the audience believed that LG was singing to them.

Speaker 3: 48:31

But, like I happen to know, lg was like singing to this woman that night and it was one of the most beautiful moments of generosity and of kindness. And then, of course, you know, lg made a really generous donation, tying it back to philanthropy for those hurricanes and for the mental health support of the communities for years after those hurricanes. But, like, I think of that story and I tell that story because it's not, it's not something she did because she was Lady Gaga right, it's a power that we all have to ask what unmet need do you have today that I can help meet? And we all have some form of abundance right that we can give generously of. And it was like a privilege to get to watch her that day and many other days to get to watch her that day and many other days.

Speaker 2: 49:25

I have never sorry. I'm still crying. I've never been so glad to be humbled by how I teed you up with that Because, first of all, I mean, we are the most massive Gaga fans. She is totally on our un-gettable-get list and I'm going to ping that into you. But the thing that I cannot miss, that has been a through line in this and I'm probably going to cry when I say it but her mother, cynthia, who is so loving and so kind and so powers that Born this Way Foundation, gave her such a foundation of love. I go back to Alina, I go back to Alina and Nista Such a foundation of love and the through line of and I'm not saying you may not have a mother, a great relationship with your mother, but the idea that someone could pour into you to be able to pour into others is such a through line.

Speaker 2: 50:15

We are talking about cards today and to me this is nothing more than a love letter. This is a love letter to each other. This is a love letter to humanity, from Maya to Alina, from Gaga to the old woman you know, from Becky and John to the lady that sits in HR that no one knows that she has, you know, a terrible cancer story with her child, but she was able to reflect it in that gift. What a freaking privilege we have to be in this work. What a privilege we have to be human beings who choose to stand up and run toward kindness right now, run towards generosity, and I love that story and I'm just going like come down from it and let John have his emotions so I can pull my feelings together as I'm feeling everything right now thanks for giving me a little moment to like try to pull myself together too.

Speaker 1: 51:13

That was absolutely beautiful, maya. It connects to me, to what you said earlier, that I sent in all caps to our team of. Just like that you are needed to build that world that you want to see. And you know we've been talking a lot about the platform that we've been given through and that we're stewarding through.

Speaker 1: 51:32

We are for good, as we're kind of in our fourth year, and what we do with that, and we keep coming back to this collective power, collective impact, and the only way that works is when each of us believe and can show up as part of that, as an integral part in it, and I think your story with LG and this sweet woman that welcomed y'all into her home that day speaks to that. You know like we can each just show up my gosh. This conversation, so emotional, so much like this, is what this is all about, y'all, from parenting to how we show up in our work and just creating a full life. So I got to round this out. You know we end our conversations with the one good thing you've given us a lot, but you want to distill down something that stirred up within you, maya, as we, as we close out.

Speaker 3: 52:14

Yeah, I mean thank you for the opportunity to talk about all of these things. It's been. I mean this is my favorite part of all my days, I think.

Speaker 2: 52:23

do you know?

Speaker 3: 52:28

I never until this year, like I just turned 40 and welcome to the club.

Speaker 2: 52:33

I love my forties.

Speaker 3: 52:35

I have a lot of anxiety about it. I don't know. Um, I know this is the first year and it's much more around my mom, losing my mom than it is about my age. I never thought that I wouldn't have another moment right, and it's interesting because so much of my work has been around like trying to get people to stay alive Right, and so it's it's interesting for me that that didn't click. When that sometimes they don't Right, I did.

Speaker 3: 53:10

I believe myself a superpower in keeping them alive and then then I wasn't able to Right, and so I think my one good thing was if you're thinking of someone, tell them immediately. Right. If the woman in Starbucks line has like a beautiful shirt, tell her right. If you're wondering what your fourth grade best friend is up to, ask them right. Like if your husband looks fetching today, as minded, I told him right, way to go, dave, he does. He looked really handsome today. He's off to Sacramento to do good. But I would beg of you, right.

Speaker 3: 53:50

I will live for the rest of my life with the things that I didn't get to say to my mom and the questions you know my daughter will ask, like when did you lose your first tooth? And I'm like I don't know and the one person who does, like she's gone Right and I never thought to ask. I never like. I think every day, like I hope that she knew how much I loved her. I hope that she knew everything that I've done in my life has been because of her, right. But like, did I tell her that I don't know Right, and so now I want to spend however many more years that I have in life? It's actually interesting, you explained it that way.

Speaker 3: 54:29

She poured into me and I don't know that. I got to turn around and say, like thanks for all this container Right, and so now I'm just going to pour so that she knows you know, like I don't know how to, how to say, but like, if, if I, if I can tell people and and invite people to say the kind thing immediately and and connect with people that will be in her honor Right and in in in what she hoped for me in the world. And so my one thing is if you're thinking it, say it. Say it immediately. It'll make a difference for you, it'll make a difference for that person. And like you never know right, you never know what someone's going through, you never know if it'll put a smile on their face or save their life, and so that is my one good thing. I also think I'd also love to just normalize taking naps and resting.

Speaker 2: 55:26

Yes, Every. Sunday afternoon, for me literally.

Speaker 3: 55:31

We in our house we call it an all-dayer. It's a mommy has to pull an all-dayer. I just think resting is one good thing and saying the thing is one good thing, so two good things. I cannot keep. I break all the rules, sorry, the second is rest, we accept.

Speaker 2: 55:53

Yes, and I just love the feeling of this warm mom hug that this conversation has been. I hope it has lifted each of you out there and if you're feeling the pull to get activated in this, to the Maya Smith pour it forward. You know, don't pay it forward pour whoever's poured into you. Pour it forward. Like Maya, talk to us about how people can connect with you. Talk about these cards and how people can get thoughtful, human cards, how they could sign up for them, how they can give them like, give us all the details of connection.

Speaker 3: 56:29

Absolutely so. I am hiding behind thoughtful human on social, so come connect with us. It's at thoughtful human on Facebook, on LinkedIn, on Instagram. So please come find me and find us there. I really genuinely want to hear your thoughts on cards. My email is mayathoughtfulhumanco and Thoughtful Human cards can be found on the website thoughtfulhumanco, in Cost Plus World Market, in Whole Foods Andronico a cost plus world market and Whole Foods Andronico, safeway, barnes and Noble a bunch of places.

Speaker 3: 57:07

But what I care most about and what I'd invite y'all to help me with is I really want them to be in mission aligned spaces, right? I want them in funeral homes. I want them in hospital gift shops, I want them in oncology centers and if you are one of those places, email me and you don't have to pay for those cards. I really want them to go to places where people are in their feelings so they can be met with community and with kindness and with support. So I can't wait to hear all of the ideas for Thoughtful Human that come out of the incredible we Are For Good community. John and Becky, you've really created a force for good and I see it every day with how you show up in the world and how you inspire conversations and invitations for good. I think the impact that y'all have is inspiring and outsized, and you should be proud of yourselves, and I know one day, whether they say it or not, all of our kids will be overwhelmingly proud of us and we'll know that all of this we're doing for them.

Speaker 1: 58:13

Another mom hug I know Thank you, for that is this community. We got to drop the promo code. Y'all literally created a promo code. We are for good, just use that and you can get 15% off everything at thoughtful cards. I mean, we got to drop the promo code. Y'all literally created a promo code. We are for good, just use that and you can get 15% off everything at Thoughtful Cards. I mean, we got to also shout out our friend Isla.

Speaker 2: 58:28

Isla, thanks for the intro.

Speaker 1: 58:31

Connected us. What a joy this has been. Thank you for being in our house today. I feel so full-hearted and just grateful to know you in this world.

Speaker 2: 58:39

Thank you.

Speaker 3: 58:45

Rooting mightily for your work.

Speaker 1: 58:46

Can't wait till we intersect again, my friend. Thank you so much to both of you. Thanks so much for being here. Friends, and you probably hear it in our voices, but we love connecting you with the most innovative people to help you achieve more for your mission than ever before.

Speaker 2: 58:57

We'd love for you to come join our good community. It's free and you can think of it as the after party to each podcast episode. Sign up today at weareforgoodcom. Backslash hello.

Speaker 1: 59:08

And one more thing If you love what you heard today, would you mind leaving us a podcast rating interview? It means the world to us and your support helps more people find this community. Thanks so much, friends. Can't wait to our next conversation.